Wednesday, November 27, 2019

A Late Start Today

Today, I woke up at 6:21AM and got out of bed. I had been pressing Snooze since 5:00AM. I had time to write my "morning pages" (See Julia Cameron and her book The Artist's Way). That took up a lot of time to fill 3 pages. I felt like my mind had been cleared as I wrote the words, because I've spent the last week complaining about my life in the pages and there was nothing more to say. That, plus I was tired and waiting for the coffee to kick in. I'm a little disappointed that I don't have time for a 30 minute walk this morning, although I did enjoy the sunrise.

Last night, I worked late and therefore, did not attend a recovery meeting. Even so, I feel like I waste some of my evening time. Especially the seduction of Facebook. Yet I was exhausted from waking up early yesterday and doing a 10 hour work day. I think the month of December is going to be difficult for any kind of self-care as the holiday season is coming and we will likely be working 7 days a week, 10+ hours per day.

Last night on Facebook, a man I know, a conservative person (nothing against that), made a post about the value of experience that was in direct contrast to something I've been reading and re-reading in "The Greatest Salesman in the World" by Og Mandino. Og says:

"...the value of experience is overrated, usually by old men who nod wisely and speak stupidly. In truth, experience teaches thoroughly yet her course of instruction devours men’s years so the value of her lessons diminishes with the time necessary to acquire her
special wisdom. The end finds it wasted on dead men. Furthermore, experience is
comparable to fashion; an action that proved successful today will be unworkable
and impractical tomorrow."
  Yesterday, I thought again about changing jobs and becoming a peer support specialist for either substance abuse and/or mental health. I still have a ways to go to get enough sobriety and enough time since my last episode of psychosis, but it did leave me with the hope for meaningful work in the future just thinking about it. Meanwhile, I'll be in the warehouse scanning boxes and moving them around.

This morning was mostly reading and writing. I do not feel the time was wasted, but I wish there had been more physical activity this morning. However, I am mostly concerned about my reading and morning pages at this time. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I will have the day off, following by working probably every day the next few weeks.

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